If You Are One Of Those Who Struggle To Know What You Want In Life, Then This Might Help You

Hello there,

Let me share with you a quick story,

We had a conversation with my two friends of mine when suddenly our topic leads to this question.

“How would I know what I really want in my life?”

Just by looking at them, I can see the frustration in their eyes.

They want answers.

I want to say, “It’s a tough question to answer. Even I was struggling to decide what I want in my life.”

But I changed my mind. I don’t want to end our conversation without having a glimpse of how to figure things out.

So I replied with a question.

“What are your values?”

They got confused about my out of the line question.

So I explain it to them in a way I never thought I can say.

“Values are the things that matter to you the most. They are your non-negotiables. You may not notice but our values affect us the way we decide. It sets as our criteria for decision making.”

They got more confused so I explained further.

“Example, if you value comfort more than discipline, then the more likely you will choose to stay at home, browsing the net, than to go for a run to be fit and healthy.

If you value family time, then it will be your deciding factor if you work local or work abroad.

If you value security over risk-taking, then you will probably choose to have a stable job over the business.

Make sense?”

Now, I see some light in their face. So I continue.

“You may be asking, “If you are right, how will I know what my values are?”

There are four steps I can suggest. And I want it to share it with you, as well.

But first, I want you to realize that you already know what your values are. They are been with you all the time. You are just not aware because it became a “common thing” to you.

Needless to say, you already know what you want. The problem is we are bombarded with a lot of choices and options. The real challenge here is how to gain clarity on what do we really want. And it all starts by realizing what your values are.

So let’s get started.

Friendly Note: I highly suggest you complete each step before moving on to the next step.

On a clean sheet of paper, write down and answer this question.

• What event in my life that I made a decision and become happy with it?
• What do I value the most?
• What are the important things in my life that I can’t give up?

List down at least 10 events.

Now, if you are struggling to figure out question no. 1 then this next question will help you.

Again on a clean sheet of paper, write down and answer this question.

• What events in my life that I regret my decision because I let others decide for me?
• What are the things that make me angry?
• What are the things that make me frustrated?

Again, List down at least 10 events.

Here’s something you might not notice. I will try to pick some Nostradamus brain cells. Ready?

I am pretty sure that you will get more answers on Question 2 to compare to Question 1.

What do you think is the reason?

You are right. Because people know better what they don’t want more than what they want.

It is like asking your friends where they want to it and no one answers. But if you ask them what they don’t want, in a snap, all of them will answer in chorus.

Moving on…

After you list down your answer, leave it for at least one day. Let it ripe for 24 hours. Rest your mind and eyes. Or do other productive and meaningful stuff like watching Netflix or Koreanovelas.

After 24 hours, go back and review your list.

This next step will be critical.

This time, you will try to discover if there are commonalities or patterns on your decision.

Based on your answers in Step 1, ask yourself, “What made me choose that decision?”

Is it because of the family? Is it an adventure? Or is it routine?

Based on your answers in Step 2, ask yourself, “What makes me angry or frustrated?”

Is it because of unfairness? If yes, meaning one of your values is integrity or equality.

By this time, you will see commonalities on your values. Continue reflecting on your answers down to your last list.

After doing the exercise, you will get a better view of what your values are. You will realize how important knowing values in setting your goals.

But, keep in mind that, this thought exercise is not a one-shot deal. If necessary, repeat the process as often as you get clear with your values.

Step 1: What event in my life that I made a decision and become happy with it?

Step 2: What events in my life that I regret my decision because I let others decide for me?

Step 3: Take A Rest

Step 4: Look for Commonalities in Your Decisions

Step 5: As necessary, repeat the process.

Use this guide to help you achieve the clarity that you want. Take your time to reflect on questions and to dig deeper. You will discover amazing stuff about yourself as you along with the process.

Hope this advice will help you at least bring clarity in your goal-setting. I learn this from Brian Tracy’s Book on Goal Setting. Check this out if you haven’t read it. Here’s the link.https://amzn.to/2Xvt2te

Also, please share this with your friends if you find this article helpful. Comments your thoughts in the box section below.

“What values that you discover after doing the exercise?”

Love to hear from you!